NZ/AUS EPIC HOLIDAY - Days 77-79

Sydney to Melbourne

Day 77 - 15th Apr - Sydney to Thredbo

Today I got up early, far too early. I was joining the bus tour that was taking me to Melbourne over the course of three days. Looking on the map it's only crossing the tiniest portion of Australia but distance wise it's about the length of Great Britain. Australia is big by the way! I was using Adventure Tours Australia to make this trip. This particular company uses small off-road buses and provides a more intimate and exciting trip than a coach tour due to the smaller number of people on board so it was just what I wanted.

I boarded the bus along with around ten other weary looking backpackers and we were off down towards out first stop: Canberra. Now almost every Australian person I've spoken to about Canberra talks about how awful it is. Bill Bryson, in his hilarious book about the country, mentions a local who claimed that Canberra was inferior to having a broken arm, since a broken arm can actually get better. During my travels the affection directed towards the Australian capital has been similarly absent. One travel agent suggested I just miss it out altogether! I mean that says it all really doesn't it? When a person who represents their own country and gets paid to do so advises skipping their own capital!?!

In all fairness it's quite likely that Melbourne and Sydney residents are both bitter that their own city didn't get picked to be the capital. They are both splendid cities but in order to avoid making the difficult choice it was decided to put a completely new city halfway in between the two rival cities. That's the unofficial explanation anyway. I can only imagine how perturbed the citizens of Melbourne or Sydney would have been if the other was given the prestigious distinction of being the capital. They would have probably seceded from Australia and formed their own country.

Of course I always try to refrain from judging a place on the negative opinions of other people. I have to admit I quite enjoyed Canberra. Of course I like almost everywhere in the entire world. I probably wouldn't want to spend more than a few days here but it was still a rather agreeable place. First stop was the parliament building, the centrepiece of this artificial city. It certainly didn't look like a government building from outside, more like a modern art gallery, and after wandering inside this opinion was reinforced even more.

The tour of the building revealed some interesting insight into Australian politics. The house of representatives and the senate both have separate meeting places in chambers opposite the central area of the main building. The public are allowed access to these areas even when meetings and political discussions are taking place. Sadly there were none during my time there, I've heard that tempers can flare up sometimes during debates and some quite colourful language can be used.

After leaving the parliament building we headed down to the splendid war memorial. The long road leading up to the main building was filled with memorials to every war that the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC) were involved in, including Vietnam, Korea as well as the two world wars. I remember thinking that they would have to reserve space for the Iraq and Afghanistan wars if they ever bloody finish! The main building was a fascinating museum filled with displays that could take days to fully appreciate. They even had some preserved aircraft and even a Japanese midget submarine that was sunk when it tried to enter Sydney Harbour. Above the museum was a memorial shrine to the soldiers that had died in all of the Australian wars and the names of every serviceman was etched into bronze plaques decorated with poppies all along the walls. Sadly we didn't spend nearly as much time here as I would have liked to.

Leaving Canberra we set off for our final destination of the day, the small resort town of Thredbo. In winter it is one of Australia's most popular skiing resorts. Since it was still autumn now it wasn't covered in snow but it was still starting to get cold, quite a change from the pleasant coastal weather. In our hotel we met up with the other Adventure Tours bus coming in the other direction and one of the passengers was turning twenty that day. It was pretty much a good excuse as any to drink so everybody joined in the party and got completely plastered although I didn't overdo it myself. The birthday boy did completely overdo it however and later on he spent most of the night spewing his guts out over the ground outside.

Well why not? You're only twenty once!

the inspiring war memorial

they call this drinking game Shot-Ski!

Day 78 - 16th Apr - Thredbo to Lakes Entrance

We got up early and although it was a sunny day it was absolutely freezing. It was cold enough at ground level but today we were going go climb Mount Kosciuszko, Australia's highest peak. This is not quite as impressive as it sounds, it's only a little baby compared to the peaks of New Zealand. It's also one of the easiest summits you can climb, let me put it this way, you can drive up to within ten minutes of the summit and you can get a wheelchair to the top. Still it was a good walk and the views were still pleasant albeit somewhat flatter than I was used to! Despite being a laughably easy summit to ascend, some of the other walkers still gave up before the end! Lazy buggers!

Returning to the bus we left Thredbo and headed out into the Snowy River National Park, although at this time of year it was still quite green with no snow in sight. This was a real off-road experience with a meandering dirt road that made its way around and over the peaks through some extremely wild terrain. We hardly saw any other vehicles on the road other than a couple of 4x4 trucks. We made several stops to admire the views and enjoy the solitude.

When we finally left Snowy River NP we joined a highway and soon the coast was in view. Before long we were in the town of Lakes Entrance and we enjoyed a decent meal before retiring to the hostel for a night.

Snowy River NP looking not so snowy

Day 79 - 17th Apr - Lakes Entrance to Melbourne

Today we skirted the coast almost all the way to Melbourne. On the way we stopped off at Wilsons Promontory National Park to go for a coastal walk. This was one of the areas that was recently affected by the devastating bush fires that swept across the area just a few months ago. Entire hillsides were a charred blackened wasteland, obliterated by the unstoppable flames caused during the summer heatwave. Standing in the mild autumn weather it was hard to imagine this place being subjected to what were quite literally sauna temperatures.

Bush fires move fast, you can't outrun them on foot and often not even in a car. One family got lucky after a close call in their vehicle. They were fleeing the onslaught but the fire caught up and overtook them, setting fire to the tyres and causing the glass and metal to partially melt and buckle. They were fortunate to survive but many others didn't. The speed and ferocity of the bush fires were just too much. I felt strange sitting there looking out the window with my camera in hand, after all many people died very recently. In the end my indecisiveness caused me to miss the photo opportunities anyway and we soon parked the bus and went on a pleasant beach walk.

After the walk we were back on the road and spent the rest of the day driving. It was dark by the time Melbourne appeared over the horizon and it was a very welcome sight. We were all dropped off at our respective hostels and eventually, after getting a bit lost due to the labyrinthine nature of Melbourne city driving, we found the place where I was staying.

I was dropped off near my hostel which was a massive building that catered to hundreds of backpackers, a well run though somewhat impersonal place due to its enormous size. I met one of my roommates and after a few introductory pleasantries I revealed that I intended to head up towards Uluru/Ayer's Rock. Hearing this he replied "aah why the hell would you want to go there? It's just a stupid fucking rock in a stupid fucking country!"

I completely ignored this asinine comment and curtailed my conversation with this imbecile. It was startlingly obvious that I was dealing with a gentleman with the cranial capacity of a poorly educated goldfish. In my head I vowed to not waste any more time conversing with this plank and I started to unpack without a further word.

I didn't do much else that night, after all I would have plenty of time to explore Melbourne and I needed to catch up on some sleep after those long days on the bus.

Australia's black swans seem much nicer and
friendlier than our grumpy white ones!

NZ/AUS EPIC HOLIDAY - Days 74-76

Australia here I come!

Day 74 - 12th Apr - Christchurch to Sydney

It was time to bid farewell to New Zealand and fly to the slightly larger country of Australia. The weather was superb and the flight over the southern alps yielded some of the most incredible views I had seen from a plane. In the distance Mount Cook towered over the high cloud unlike many of the other peaks. It certainly lived up to its Maori name: Aoraki, meaning cloud piercer.

After a very short flight I was in Sydney and the time difference had almost given me all the hours of the day back that I'd spent traveling. Going through immigration took very little time and after a brief train ride I was in the centre of one of the finest cities in the entire world. By now the place was extremely familiar to me. I've been here so many times in the past that its becoming more familiar to me than my home town.

Speaking of home towns there isn't one I would rather adopt more than Sydney. I cannot over exaggerate the virtues of this utterly wonderful place. Harbours don't really come much better than Sydney, except possibly Rio but then in Sydney you're not in constant danger of being mugged, raped or murdered as soon as you take a wrong turn. At any rate, a walk along the harbour front at Circular Quay is always one of my favourite city strolls in the world, day or night.

So I walked down to meet my good friend Rob who, along with his girlfriend Colleen, had kindly agreed to put me up in their wonderful home, at a bar in town. After this we essentially went on a bit of a pub crawl, an activity that can really drain your wallet due to the egregiously high government taxes on alcohol. After returning to Rob's place I discovered his ingenious plan for combating this problem, he brewed his own beer. It was actually really quite nice, though by then it was slightly harder to tell.

Aah it really was great to be back in Sydney once again.

majestic Mount Cook

Day 75 - 13th Apr - Sydney Royal Easter Fair

I didn't really have any plans for the day but Rob and Colleen certainly did. Due to my staggeringly backwards ability to keep up with the real world I had completely forgotten that it was Easter Sunday. Apparently the big event in Sydney was the Royal Easter Fair and so that would be our destination for the day.

It was a truly massive affair, located around the appropriately enormous Olympic stadium that had been constructed for the recently hosted games in 2000. It would have taken days to experience everything at the fair, indeed it had already been open for weeks. But on an holiday like today the place was truly bustling with excitement.

The highlight for me had to be the presence of several fairground rides, including some of the most violent I'd ever ridden in my whole life. One ride was essentially a giant, vertical, one hundred or more foot, double bladed propeller with chairs at each end. To really exacerbate the chances of vomiting the seats at each end rotated independently from the main shaft. If anybody with a nervous disposition or vertigo rode that one it would probably unhinge the balance of their very mind and reduce them to a quivering, mindless sack of jelly. In other words it was bloody good fun!

Another highlight was the unexpected stunt bike show in one of the massive stadiums. Turning cartwheels in mid-air and standing on their handlebars whilst soaring off ramps, I was mightily impressed to learn that one of these nutters was only nineteen years old! Christ I'll bet that particular teenager has no trouble finding dates! What always impresses me is the notion that there is no margin of error for practising these stunts. If you miscalculate a 360 degree backflip in mid air whilst letting go of your bike to spin around separately then you fall down to bone crunching agony.

The other attractions that delighted were the various animal shows around the place. There were competitions involving various animals but, instead of watching the shows or the judging I had a much more fun time interacting with the animals in their pens. The pigs proved to be quite entertaining, as were the amazingly soft furred alpacas. But for me you just can't improve on dogs and I spent ages at the dog pens squealing with delight like a child each time I came across each dog which somehow proved to be even more adorable that the last.

The last diversion of the day was a show featuring what were advertised as the 'diving and racing pigs'. Yes you read that right! We spend forever waiting in line several times throughout the day only to be told that it was full. We weren't the only ones and tempers around us were starting to flare, not helped by the impending rain. But eventually we got in only to be faced with the anticlimactic display which lasted for all of ten minutes. That's including the introductions and preparations of course, all in all the actual pig racing (and diving!) itself probably didn't go over the length of a sneezing fit.

Yes most people left the area feeling satisfied and entertained, myself included in a bizarre kind of way. It's amazing how entertaining pigs can be!

I would have stayed all night but the increasingly heavy rain drove us off. Before long we were back at Rob and Colleen place drying our clothes and enjoying a hot drink.

bloody impressive!

ride of death!

Day 76 - 14th Apr - Birthday in Sydney

I don't want to be twenty eight years old! I don't bloody well want to age! It two years I'll be thirty! Holy shit! Jesus I'll be an old man soon! Maybe I'm overreacting a little. Settle down, at least I'm spending my birthday in an awesome place.

We headed out into town in the late afternoon and headed out for a few drinks in town near an area called The Rocks which was located almost in the shadow of the massive harbour bridge. I was also able to track down a friend from my life on cruise ships, the lovely Davidia, a singer who frequented the Sun Princess and, much to my delight at the time, she was one of the few acts around at the time with a genuinely good show. It was good to be amongst friends on my birthday and we visited a wonderful Italian restaurant for a delicious meal. I was eternally grateful when Rob and Colleen offered to foot the bill!

A fine birthday I reckon, I'd spend them all in Sydney if I could!

Colleen, Davidia, Me, Rob

NZ/AUS EPIC HOLIDAY - Introduction

Introduction

There are many ways to escape the excruciatingly frigid British winters. You could bash yourself over the head with a big rock in the hope of inducing a coma that lasted just long enough to wear off when summer comes around. Another option might be to simply lock yourself indoors all day with the heating up and cover the windows up with poster sized photographs of tropical summer scenes. Or perhaps you could leave the country, leave the continent, leave the entire hemisphere or just attempt to get as far away from the country as humanly possible.

Since I didn't have enough posters for all the windows and there were no rocks lying around I was forced to choose the last option. I did in actual fact decide get as far away from the UK as I could. New Zealand and Australia to be precise. I really cannot overstate just how far from the UK that is. The only way a person could put more distance between themselves and the UK would be to go into space. New Zealand is on the opposite side of the entire planet. Visiting there literally involves being whisked off in a plane and being deposited on the other side of this gargantuan celestial body, stopping only to refuel because no commercial plane can hold enough fuel to make it all in one go. It doesn't matter whether you go via the US or ASIA, it's the same distance either way, that's how far away it is!

Did I mention New Zealand is quite far away?


It seems that the paltry amount of time I spent in New Zealand during my antipodean adventure holiday last November/December was only enough to whet my appetite for the place. So I booked tickets back there only this time I wanted to stay far longer. Although I knew I wanted to spend plenty of time hiking I only had a rough idea of where and what order I wanted to do things in and through studious research I discovered, much to my delight, that New Zealand is a great country for going on holiday without a very specific game plan. They have some of the best backpacker hostels in the world, an almost absurd number of national parks, great bus services and as of right now their exchange rate is very much in the favour of someone who mainly earns US dollars.

I chose to buy a bus ticket within a company called Kiwi Experience. For a surprisingly low price you can purchase a pass that is valid for a whole year and covers the entire country. Also it is possible to hop on/hop off at any time. Thanks to the ubiquitous nature of New Zealand's excellent backpacker hostels it is rare that accommodation cannot be found and the buses can be booked at short notice and for free (since the pass is already paid and covers everything).

So with all that in mind it's little wonder I don't have a specific itinerary planned. I've outlined all the potential places of interest in the map shown below but I have no idea what order I'll be doing them in. One thing is certain though and that is I'll be doing an awful lot of hiking (another thing New Zealand is known for).


My itinerary in Australia is much more planned out however. It is possible to acquire a prepaid pass to cover much of the country but they're an awful lot more expensive which is quite fair when you think about how enormous the place is. So instead I'm planning on taking the coast route from Sydney to Adelaide via Melbourne.

Once I reach Adelaide though, the adventure really begins. I'm booking an outback safari tour that meanders it's way north through the desert through some amazing sights. The highlight of the tour is sure to be Uluru or Ayers Rock as it used to be known.



After that I'm sure I'll be completely out of money so it'll probably be time to go back to getting paid to go on holiday and travel the world!

SYDNEY/KIWI ADVENTURE-11: The Blue Mountains

Yesterday both me and Rob decided to take a trip out to the well known blue mountains that are just outside Sydney. After some internet research into bus tours and other options it turned out that the cheapest option was to simply rent a car for the day and drive out. After some minor setbacks we found ourselves out in the town of Katoomba marveling at the incredible scenery. I could take up several pages of text describing the transcendent beauty of the Blue Mountains but I have to admit I'm feeling a little bit lazy and I would rather just stick a few photos up there and let them speak for themselves. Perhaps I'll be a bit more forthcoming with written information next time.

SYDNEY/KIWI ADVENTURE-10: Leaving New Zealand

Well I must admit I didn't really do much with my last day in Queenstown. I simply had a go on the luge a few times and wandered around town and around the skyline area for a while. I completely knackered my arse after misjudging a turn on the advanced luge track and went flying off in a spectacular and frankly embarrassing manner. Combined with my minor leg muscle strain caused by my extremely high speed downhill ambulation caused me to limp around town in a rather amusing way.

On the next day the time came to leave New Zealand and fly to Sydney for the final segment of my holiday. I've flown out of/into many locations but I've never witnessed such amazing scenery over an airport before. I rarely take photographs from a passenger airliner, I mean why would you want to since you usually only see a big flat airport, then an urban area and then clouds, lots and lots of bloody clouds! This time however it was alpine scenery right from the word go. Take a look at some of these photos and I'm sure you'll be impressed.

Arriving in Sydney I found my way to Rob's and Colleen's humble abode which might I add is a very wonderful place. A lovely two bedroom studio style apartment that even has a balcony! It was certainly a great staging post for a holiday in Sydney especially since the regular bus service leaves from outside and drops you off in the town centre about 15-20 minutes later. I admit I didn't go as crazy as I did in New Zealand with the unstoppable spending, I thought it was time to take it easy. This isn't too hard given that Sydney really is a wonderful place to just hang out in without spending too much.

Eventually though I decided it was time to go and do something spectacular, it was time to see the famous Blue Mountains, the national park that lies just 60 or so miles outside of Sydney. But that's a post for another time.

Queenstown from the air

Just outside Queenstown

Flying over Fiordland National Park

SYDNEY/KIWI ADVENTURE-1: Introduction

Well I just signed off the Sun Princess to take some local leave in Sydney with my good friend Rob. For those of you who don't know what local leave is: when you sign off a cruise ship you have the option of having the company delay your flight home (which is paid for) by however long you wish so that you can stay in the country that you finish in. In this case I've signed off in Sydney in order to take a 2 week adventure holiday in New Zealand before returning to Sydney for another week. After all that I'm returning to the abject misery that is British winter weather.

First of all I'm planning to stay in Auckland for a few days and my itinerary includes a tour of the spectacular Waitomo Caves, where I'll be doing abseiling, rock climbing, blackwater rafting (which is whitewater rafting but underground!) and a tour of the glow-worm caves. Then it's off to Queenstown where I'll be Bungy Jumping, whitewater rafting, parasailing and any other crazy things that I care to think of at the time. Then I'm returning to Sydney and staying there for a week before I fly home for Christmas.

Can't wait! Keep an eye out for some updates in the near future.